Funerals

Your loved one is entitled to a funeral in the parish in which they have lived regardless of whether he/she was a churchgoer.

Usually the funeral director will contact the Rector/clergyperson, who will then spend time with you prior to the service, and offer you their support and that of the parish afterwards.  

Funerals may take place in church, at the Crematorium or at a graveside.  The clergy want to ensure that your choices and those of your loved one are respected and would be happy to talk through the service with you, and, as far as is possible, to include your selection of music, poetry and readings.  We will be with you at this difficult time and will assist you in planning a service that reflects the life of the deceased.

In the Autumn we hold a service at St Stephen and St Agnes Church in Vansittart Road for those who have been bereaved.  We remember those who have died as we read out names and light candles.    Everyone is welcome to come along.

If you have been bereaved and wish to speak with a member of clergy, do contact us - you can contact our Rector, the Revd Canon Sally Lodge (Revd Sally) here.   

Our bereavement group, New Pathways, meets on the last Thursday of each month at 2pm, in the Mountbatten Room at Holy Trinity Church (Claremont Road and Trinity Place).  The meeting is for anyone who has lost a loved one (whether it was recently or a while ago).

Information, which may be helpful, from the Church of England on funerals can be found here.

  

From Windsor Church News September 2024

Dear Friends,

There has been a fair amount in the press recently about Assisted Dying, with Scotland, Jersey and the Isle of Man all considering changing the law to allow terminally ill people to end their lives, and, whilst in the King’s Speech there was no specific mention of a bill to make assisted dying legal, the Prime Minister has renewed his commitment to having a vote on the matter. Whatever our personal views on this difficult and sensitive issue, it brings to the forefront a wider consideration of what it means to have a “good” death. Having a choice about where we spend our final days and being able to have some control over our quality of life during those days are both considerations of prime importance. To feel at peace with ourselves, with our loved one and with those around us as we near the end of our life is an intrinsic human desire, to which, for people of faith, should be added the desire to be at peace with God, the sacrament of reconciliation being an important part of the Christian journey.

As they get older, many people try to make things as easy as possible for their loved ones by sorting out financial matters and slimming down their possessions. Some also make funeral plans. The experience of taking several hundred funerals over my years of ministry has shown me how hugely beneficial it is to one’s family to have left a note somewhere detailing our funeral wishes. If you haven’t already made such a note (and told someone where to find it!), might I encourage you to do so.

Dilemmas which families face when left without instructions are manifold. Did Dad say he wanted to be cremated or buried? Did Mum want a service in church? Can anyone remember what were Granny’s favourite hymns? What about any she would definitely not want to include! Didn’t Uncle Fred once mention a particular bible reading or poem which he wanted to be used? What about special music to be played in church or at the crematorium? Can anyone remember?

I am always saddened when, on visiting a bereaved family to prepare the funeral, I discover that no-one present knows anything much about the life history of the person who has died. There is a tendency to focus only on the last few years and no-one knows much at all about childhood or early adulthood or how that person spent their days. Perhaps we assume people know more of our history than they do. As strange as it might seem, writing your own eulogy or, at least, making some notes is a sensible thing to do and is immensely helpful to those left to pick up the pieces. After all, you are the only one who knows what you would like to be said about you at your funeral!

One particular concern I have at the moment is the growth in the number of “Unattended Cremations” (sometimes referred to as “Direct Cremations”). These are often advertised as being the best option for ensuring piece of mind for your loved ones. What is not made clear in some of the advertising is that a Direct or Unattended Cremation is a cremation with no funeral service, no minister and no mourners. There is no opportunity at the crematorium for the person’s life to be celebrated, for prayers to be said or for loved ones to say goodbye. There is no-one present to do any of these things. The financial cost is less but I worry greatly about the emotional cost. Allowing ourselves an opportunity to share our grief as we honour a loved one’s life in the presence of others and of God is a fundamental human need and not having this opportunity in the safe setting of a funeral service must, it seems to me, inevitably take a toll on a person’s ability to process their grief. A funeral is a way of bringing about healing. It is a vital part of the process of grieving which simply does not happen when there is no funeral service. My hope is that this current trend will very soon become consigned to history.

As the Prayer Book says, “in the midst of life we are in death”. Preparing for death is something we should all do, whatever our age and state of health. If you would like to talk to someone about planning your funeral, please do feel able to give me or Fr Richard a call. It’s what we’re here for!

With every blessing

Sally

The Reverend Canon Sally Lodge

 

 

Powered by Church Edit